


guess it's true, i'm not good with a one night stand

by thorinsoakenshielded



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer
Genre: M/M, ayyyyyy, don't really know what happened here, one use of homophobic language, sorry about that, title from sam smith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1973727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorinsoakenshielded/pseuds/thorinsoakenshielded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>but i still need love cause i'm just a man</p>
            </blockquote>





	guess it's true, i'm not good with a one night stand

**Author's Note:**

> first fic for this fandom by me and I decide to make ashton a dick, go me

Luke remembers something from Perks Of Being a Wallflower after Ashton leaves. He remembers that the relationship between them is like Brad and Patrick's. Everytime Ashton comes to his house, he's drunk off his face and stinking of girl's perfume but Luke lets him in anyway. 

It's always rushed. There's no kissing, no cuddles after. Just pure unadulterated fucking that leaves Luke sore and bruised and Ashton passed out on the bed. He knows this is wrong and he's angry with himself for letting Ashton do this to him. Luke hears him on the Monday after, during practice time in Music, saying to his friends the reason he disappeared halfway through the night was some randon year eleven girl who did some trick with her tongue.   
He understands why Ashton does this, put up a false pretense. Ashton has always been raised Christian and taught that homosexuality was wrong. The first time he and Luke were together, he told Luke that no one can find out and that his father would kill him if he found out. That was the first and last time Ashton hadn't been drunk when they were together.

Calum knows about the two of them. Luke called him up one night after Ashton had left. It was five in the morning when the call came through. Luke was crying and Calum felt helpless. He knows that when Luke hears Ashton tell his friends that, his heart starts to crack.   
Luke wants to end it. He really does but he doesn't know how. He knows that by ending whatever he has with Ashton he'll feel better but he knows it'll hurt so much. This is what secretly Luke's always wanted but not in this way. Never in this way. He wanted Ashton to say he liked him as a person and not the way Luke lets him into his house and into his bed. He wanted dates, not drunken fumbles in the dark. He wanted even just a kiss from Ashton that was meant and not done to keep Luke from shouting his name. But this is what he has to settle for. 

Ashton hates himself for what this thing is between him and Luke. All he feels about himself, all the hatred and disgust and all he feels about the relationship isn't what he really thinks. It's just been ingrained in his mind since he was a child with his father repeatedly telling him and his sister that homosexuality is wrong and a sin. He feels like a failure.   
He loves Luke. He loves how he looks at four in the morning, the time Ashton has to leave because if he doesn't he'll tell Luke about his feelings and what they have will change from just purely being a casual thing (even though it is far from casual) to being a romantic thing (which is what Ashton wants more than anything).  
There's only ever been one time Luke has refused Ashton. It was a Friday night, his parents had gone out of Sydney to visit family in Melbourne and his brothers had gone out to their girlfriends. It was around two in the morning when he heard the knocks on the door, he had been sat in the kitchen with his guitar and was partway through writing a song called 'I've Told You Now'. Before he even got to the door, he could hear Ashton slurring out 'Luke, let me in. I fucked this girl at the party and I'm still horny.'

Luke opens the door, 'Fuck off you prick, you're fucking wasted.'

Ashton tries pushing past him into the house but Luke grabs him and in his drunken state is pushed back down the steps in front of the house, ' You're not coming in, just go home.'

Ashton looks at him, 'Fuck you, you faggot.' and stumbles down the pathway. Luke goes back into the house and locks the door. He cries himself to sleep that night. He doesn't know why he does, maybe it's because he's realised that to Ashton, he's just a thing to fuck and not care about or maybe it's because he's realised that he loves Ashton and it hurts to know that he'll never be his.  
Luke doesn't refuse him after that, even at the one time he came to his with lipstick all over his face and hickeys on his neck.   
Calum even tells him to end it. Even he can see that Ashton is hurting him. If Calum knows how much it hurts him, Luke wonders if Ashton can see it too. He's tired, his heart hurts and he's woken up with dried tears on his face too many times but no matter how hard he tries, he can't end it.


End file.
